Well, that little trip to the cable office wasn’t quite what anyone anticipated. And we weren’t as successful as we’d hope either I’m sure. But I got to meet new superheroes, so that’s always a plus. And I can share the blame in not fulfilling the mission, although I’m pretty sure the Diablos’ plan is going to backfire and it’s all going to be far better for me than if we succeeded!
See, after Mr. O’Connell called and asked me to check out the cable offices in Margona, he apparently also contacted some other superheroes to help me out. Not that I’m complaining, I’d much rather just get some bad guys behind bars than end up a big blog smear on the sidewalk. Sort of sucks being used for as bait though, probably would have been nice to know they were going to show up as well. Although now that I think back on the situation, THEY’RE the ones who screwed everything up, I did exactly what I planned to do!
The Diablos have been stalking the cable offices for a few days now, ever since we thwarted their bombing attempt downtown earlier this week. And they’re pretty mad at me for interfering on that, I guess they looked like big idiots in the eyes of their potential huge international terrorist benefactors. We at least put that relationship in cold water, if not destroyed it outright. So the Diablos wanted to use me as an example of what happens to people who get in their way, and wanted everyone to know it.
So their big plan was to infiltrate the cable offices, tap into the broadcast network, and show some pretty negative video about me getting beat up by them over and over until someone could come fix it. Not necessarily a bad plan, although the guy they got from their gang to dress up sort of like me was too short and I hope I don’t look that fat on TV! The video wasn’t all that good either, they tried to pull something out of a terrorist’s playbook by pretty much showing a bunch of Diablos beating “”me”” up until I was a bloody mess, and talk about how any hero or cop that tries to interfere again with them would end up the same way. Pretty much they wanted to make me look like a wimp in everyone’s eyes and them as threatening and intimidating.
So I walked into the cable office, and really not much was going on at the time. So I staked out a spot by the candy machines and got some chocolate. Nothing helps you fight super evil like chocolate! There were some office workers running around at the time, but other than the standard chaos that you’ll find in pretty much every office, it was lame.
Then suddenly it was like two armies converging all at once. The Diablos, video in hand (and multiple copies so they could be sure that someone got through and tapped into the network to show it), were all decked out in invasion gear. I’m talking night vision goggles, camo, the works. They were definitely going for broke on this mission. About thirty of them crashed through various windows simultaneously, and were all around the building trying to find where to plug in and do their thing.
About three minutes later, Mr. O’Connell’s back up arrived. I sort of feel stupid, after complaining I didn’t know any other superheroes in town, I didn’t get much info on them. But I’m meeting them later on today to recap the whole event down at police headquarters, so I’ll hopefully learn more. One of them was like me, a brawler who is pretty decent in a fight, and his companion has the ability to immediately put people to sleep. I guess that’s not a bad skill to have, although they kept waking up and he wasn’t really very good at it.
I started out on the second floor by myself — next to the candy machines. I think I still even had chocolate all over my face when things broke out. I spent about 20 minutes running up and down the hall just fighting off Diablos. It wasn’t until I ran into the elevators that I saw these other two superheroes trying things out themselves. But they told me right away they were sent by Mr. O’Connell, so I figured I could trust them. Plus they definitely weren’t Diablos, they weren’t in paramilitary gear, so I pretty much knew they were on my side.
Well, if my job was to get the Diablos to pull the trigger on what they wanted to do, them crashing into the cable offices certainly accomplished that. That’s why I’m not feeling bad about the whole situation. These other two nimrods though, I’ll just assume their job was to stop the whole hijacking of the broadcast frequency thing. Sure, we were decent at finding and apprehending Diablos, but not before a couple of them managed to get into the main control booth and lock the door behind them.
So if you turn on your cable and you’re in Capitol City, you’ll see this lovely 8-minute video of “me” getting the tar beat out of me on constant repeat. It’s been on for a few hours right now, I guess the control booth has some sound proof reinforced door and the Diablos blockaded themselves in. I watched it a few times, I guess it does a lot to make me look more powerful in the Diablos’ mind since they’re calling me out by name. I just wish I wasn’t getting beat up and I definitely don’t look that fat! I work out! I’m a superhero!
Anyway, there was some reporter from the Channel 7 News that emailed about the whole thing, I’ll have to give her a call and see what’s going on with them. Maybe they’re doing a story on me, I’m sure they’re going to report on it at least. At least local television channels aren’t showing it, the Diablos are just forcing the video in over everyone with cable.